DoTA- Basshunter----
Thats the only thing
you do all day long
you sit on that ? and play DoTa
Were sitting here in Ventrillo
playing some Dota
Were sittign here in Ventrillo
Playing some Dota
We push on and we're owning
with the opponets we're toying
Were sitting here in Ventrillo
playing some dota
Running around creeping
the opponets we're sleeping
Were sitting here in Ventrillo
playing some dota
We push on and we're owning
with the opponets we're toying
were sitting here in Ventrillo
playing some dota
running around creeping
the opponets we're sleeping
were sitting here in Ventrillo
playing some dota
we push onand were owning
with the opponets we're toying
----------------------
So i've decided to make a post after a few months... of ... not making posts... It's led me to question why I post---
I've been thinking alot as of late. About living, loving, and knowing... I know I write here for myself... even though other people have access to it. I like to go back and read what I was thinking on certain dates and remember what it was like to be alive then... I also don't mind seeing if anyone feels like posting comments and such...I also have anonymous comments turned on which I find interesting.I see the past comments on here, know who wrote them, and choose not to delete them. I seriously hope the writer of them will come back here sometime ... read them... and realize how stupid they are.
Are you as far as you hoped?
as you run past open doors did find the one you wanted?
I want to find my inner peace. I want to find me... I want to finally break the monotony.
I like writing about the things that make me happy... Writing to yourself is retarded, but sometimes it makes me feel better.
I have alot of friends who know that I remember ALOT of things... some memories meaningless to others... there is nothing that hurts more than recalling a time or a moment that makes me smile for a second... brings me to tears, knowing you have erased it from your mind... or just... simply....forgotten. It happens with everyone I know... everyones done it to me and I guess thats okay.
I write this because sometimes I forget- especially as of late... I don't know whats wrong with me but I think i'm going blind and falling behind...
I have more unfinished projects than any normal person should ever have... If I were to die, I don't want my life to reflect my started projects- when i'm awake my temples throb and my eyes slowly try shutting themselves when i'm not paying attention. Something in between my left and right cheekbone causes pressure and makes me feel like yawning... constantly. It is very difficult to be in the constant state of yawn.... Today is my monday of a 11 day straight work week without a break and it is only an hour and a half into it... I've already vomitted into the toilet... and am freaking out over stupid nothings of my extremely boring job. Am I a lunatic? I think I am really good at contaning my inner psychopath.... but I also know my logic is abit skewed.
I am withering and withering... My health isn't as good as it should be... probably due to excessive smoking and drinking on my off time-- On the outside things are just fine... inside there is a black hole that consumes everything... fun things that happen should feel better.
I want so many things... and I have so many things-- no matter what ... no matter where I look... I always end in frustration and disappointment...
I haven't broke down in 6 months almost-- I think i'm doing okay... but I might break soon again... I didn't even know that I would ever break or that it was possible... but I found out that I in fact... do have a limit that can be reached... I want to believe I have an endless black hole that I can throw things into when I dont want to hear/see/feel them any longer... but in reality I dont... it fills and spills out everywhere and I have a nucleaur explosion. I-Hate-myself...
I make empty promises-
I lie and make those promises and get mad when someone breaks theirs and lies about it.
--
what is my problem anyways...
Why does anyone even like me anyways=-
it makes no sense...
----
other thoughts:
++I got Demigod... I want to play it alot right now....
appearantly it plays alot like DoTA on WcIII.
++I am an ordained minister now through the universal life church ordinance
Appearantly I can bless,marry and do excorcisms... as well as a bunch of other cool stuff
++My Hookah plus Starbuzz Blue Mist is amazing... come over and smoke it sometime with me
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment